literature

Dean X Reader: Hey, Jude

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    "I can't take this anymore, Sam!"

    Your eyes snapped up from the board game you were playing with Castiel and landed on a furious-looking Dean storming in the motel room, and a frustrated Sam following him.

    "Dean, it's not my fault!" Sam defended as he slammed the door.  "It isn't my fault that I don't have a soul!  I'm sorry!"

    You and Cas exchanged glances before you let out a long sigh and rose to your feet.  "Guys, what happened?" you questioned, snatching the bottle of Captain Morgan from Dean's hands, earning a frustrated groan from the man.

    "Dammit!" the older brother exclaimed as he kicked the coffee table over, sending the 'Sorry!' game pieces all across the floor.  Cas gave you a pouty look without even realizing that he was doing it. 

    "Don't worry, Cas.  We can just start a new game."  You turned your attention back to the fuming brothers.  "Now, Dean, Sam, tell me what happened with the job."

    "Sam almost killed a child!" Dean exclaimed, gesturing towards the larger male.  "He almost killed a little girl just because she was a Shapeshifter and she didn't know it!"

    A look of surprise crossed your face as you turned your gaze to Sam.  "Sammy... Is that true?"

    Sam avoided your gaze by keeping his eyes on the floor, his arms crossed.  He looked as if he was a child being scolded by his mother.

    You moved closer to Sam, gently placing a hand on his upper arm.  "Sammy..?"  His eyes met your (e/c) ones and you gave him a gentle smile.

    "I... I couldn't care less, (Y/n)."  You could hear he tried to intertwine guilt into his voice.  "I want to care but... But I just can't.  I can't..."  He let out a long sigh before sitting one of the beds in the room. 

    You knelt down in front of him, placing your elbows on his knees.  "Sammy, I know you want to care, and that's why we're trying so hard to get you your soul from Lucifer's cage.  You'll be back to normal in no time, okay?"  

    This had become your job since you had joined the Winchester boys on their trek to constantly save the world: You were the mediator.  You stood between Sam and Dean at their worst and attempted to keep the two together.  They were all you had left and you didn't plan on losing the little family you had found.

    "Are you seriously pitying him, (Y/n)?!" Dean asked, his anger quickly bubbling inside of him. 

    You stood and looked back at Dean, also noting that Castiel had fled during the fight.  You couldn't blame him.  A fight between the Winchesters was always a war zone.  "Dean, you know what's going on with Sam.  You know why he is the way he is."

    "Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Because he's a soulless douche, that's why!"  Dean shot at you before taking a swig of a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

    "Ugh!  Dean, where do you keep getting those?!"  You stormed across the motel room and snatched the bottle from his hands.  "How much have you already drank before you got here?!"

    "A bottle and a half of whiskey."  Sam answered from behind you.

    "Dean!" you scolded.

    "You know what!  I don't need this!" Dean raged and headed for the door, snatching his keys off of the dresser, bottle in hand.

    "Dean, stop!" you called out.  "You're way too intoxicated to drive!"

    "Watch me!" he replied, his speech a little slurred.

    You gave a horrified expression to Sam before grabbing your coat from the back of a chair and following Dean.

    Dean had managed to stumble into the driver's side of the Impala, but was having slight difficulties getting the key into the ignition.  His vision was becoming blurred due to the drinking and the tears that were building up.  He gave a frustrated groan and gave up, flinging his hands against the steering wheel, tossing the keys up on the dashboard.

    You knocked on the window lightly, startling Dean a little.  "How about I drive, hm?"

    He silently scooted over to the passenger side and you opened the door.  You retrieved the keys from the dash and smoothly started the Impala, backed out, and took a left out of the motel parking lot.

    The ride was silent, and you didn't mind it.  After all, there was hardly a quiet moment anymore, so you took what you could get.  You peered over at Dean whom was staring out into the dark night ahead of you.

    "So, Dean," he looked over at you, "Where am I going?"  He stared at you for a moment before turning his gaze back to the road in front of you and the silence returned.
    
    Dean opened the glove compartment and retrieved a silver flask, unscrewed the top, and took a long gulp.  You did a double take before letting out a disappointed "Dean..." under your breath.  He ignored you and took another long swig.

    You sighed and pulled over on the side of the road.

    "Talk to me."

    He gave you an odd look.  "About what?"

    You took the keys out of the ignition, placed them safely in your pocket, and maneuvered yourself to where your back was leaning against the door and you were facing him.  "Everything."

    He rolled his eyes and let out a breath.  "(Y/n), you know everything that's goin' on-"

    "I know I do.  But I want you to talk to me about it."  You gave him a stern look.  "Keeping everything in is unhealthy, Dean.  You might be strong, but everyone has their limits.  I haven't been with you guys very long, but..," you fumbled with your hands and you felt a lump in your throat, "I love you guys."

    Dean turned his head, sensing you were just as stressed about everything as he was.

    "I love you, Dean.  I love Sammy.  I love Bobby, and Cas, and if I had the honor of meeting Ellen and Jo and John... I would have loved them, too."  Your eyes began to sting, and you tried your best to blink the oncoming tears away.  "I worry about you.  Constantly."

    Dean felt a pang in his chest as he continued to listen to you.

    "I worry about what you've seen in Hell.  I hear you cry at night when Sam is gone and it's just me and you in the room.  I want to... I want to reach out and tell you that... That I'm here."  You clutched your hands into fists in your lap.  "But I feel so useless... I'm not a good hunter.  I'm not smart, or cunning, or... Or anything."

    "(Y/n)..."

    "So... So, I at least want to help with this.  Please," you looked up to him, your eyes pleading, "Talk to me."

    Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and when he spoke his voice was hoarse.  "I... I'm losin' everything, (Y/n).  I'm losing Sammy, I've lost Lisa and Ben...  There's nothing else for me to hope for..."  He took a deep breath.  "I'm afraid... I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you, too."  His voice was shaking and he looked straight into your eyes.  

    "Afraid you're gonna... Dean, that's not going to happen," you reassured with a smile.

    "You don't know that."

    "Yes, I do.  You couldn't get rid of me if you tried-"

    "You don't understand!  You don't know what could happen tonight, or tomorrow, or next Wednesday!"  He reached forward and grabbed you by the shoulders.  "Anything could happen!  A Vamp could turn you, or a demon could snap your neck and I'm the idiot who would just stand there and watch it happen!"  Tears were spilling from his green eyes now.  

    You shrunk back a little bit, slightly afraid.  Dean had never yelled at you that way, much less yelled at you in general.  He quickly removed his hands from your shoulders and buried his face in them, grasping his hair in chunks.  You had never seen Dean so... Broken.  Then, it all came clear to you.  He was broken.  Dean was broken.  And he wasn't the only one. 

    Sam was broken.

    Castiel was broken.

    Bobby was broken.

    You were broken.

    You slowly reached out and grabbed the sleeve of Dean's leather jacket.  He looked up at you and, with a surprising amount of ease, you pulled him into your arms.  Your eyes still burned from the tears that threatened to fall and you still felt that lump in your throat.

    "Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better..."

    Dean's eyes widened a fraction.  "(Y/n), what are you..."  You closed your eyes and continued to softly sing, your voice gently and melodic.

    "Remember, to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."  

    Tears welled up in Dean's eyes again and he felt like a child in the arms of his mother, which is a feeling the thought he would never experience again.  Choked sobs racked throughout his body and he dropped his head down into the crook of your neck.

    "Hey, Jude.  Don't be afraid.  You were made to go out and get her.  The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better."  You gently rubbed circles on Dean's back as his crying became even more prominent.  He wrapped his arms around you tightly as you continued to sing.  "And anytime you feel the pain, Hey, Jude, refrain.  Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.  For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder..."

    You gently lifted Dean's face from your neck and stared into his eyes.

    He sniffled a little, "Ya'know... This life sucks a whole lotta ass..."  He smoothed down some of your stray hair that had fallen into your face, tucking it behind your ear, "But... I don't think Cas is the only angel we have."

    Your cheeks turned red and you smiled right before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.  His head fell back into the crook of your neck, and soon you heard his soft, even breathing as you continued to hum "Hey, Jude" softly.

    "Sleep well, Dean.  Everything's gonna be alright."
I know I've been slacking on my Sherlock X Reader, but I promise I will get the new chapter up soon!  In the meanwhile, I've had a slew of ideas for several other oneshots that I would like to get out of my mind palace before continuing!  Like this one for instance.

I know it seems that Dean is a little OOC, but in all honesty, I think even the strongest man could break under these circumstances.

If you like, leave a fave and a comment!

Love, SS95!
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